Thursday, November 21, 2024
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John was the fourth of my five older brothers and nine years my senior. For a girl whose father died when she was six, I was incredibly blessed to have had so many older brothers who always showered me with love and affection.
John was always there when I needed him with a hug when I was having boyfriend heartaches; help with an art project, taking me to buy furniture for my first apartment, help with our mother when her health declined. For quite some time every month he would drive in from East Meadow to Brooklyn to load up his truck with all mother’s things - including a giant recliner chair! - and drive her to our sister’s in Mamaroneck, unload the truck and drive back to Long Island. He would then do the reverse at the end of the month when he brought her (and the giant recliner) back to Brooklyn. He always showed up with a big mug of coffee and a cheerful “let’s do this” attitude.
I adored John, especially it seems, the last few years of his life when we got to spend more time together. The biggest blessing to me are the memories I now cherish of our walks in his beloved Eisenhower Park either after lunch at his kitchen table, or after a session of chemo in Mineola.
I would always reach for his arm to steady his somewhat wobbly gait as if I needed him to steady my steps as well. The first several times I sensed that he was not wholly comfortable with this, but one day he held his arm out to me which I happily latched onto. This walking arm and arm progressed to him initiating walking hand in hand.
That time together amongst the old growth trees, in the late afternoon sun amongst the birds, squirrels, other walkers and families picnicking felt like we were walking in heaven. It is such a gift to have those memories now to add to all the others.
The very last time we were there, and for the first time, he turned to me and said, “shall we go?”
So thank you my darling for being the wonderful big brother that you always were. As shown in this 1976 photograph you have always lifted me up in more ways than I can count. I treasure my memories of you and I will hold you close to my heart always.
