Thursday, August 22, 2019
News of Marilyn Rings’ passing kept me up most of last night. It’s hard to think about Marilyn (whom I never addressed as “Marilyn,” but always as “Mrs. Ring”) without thinking of all of the Rings. Growing up next door to the Rings, there was no other family to whom I felt closer. The Rings were functionally part of my nuclear family. Throughout the sixties and seventies, they were all part of every Christmas that I can remember. John, Donald and I experienced no major event – good or bad – that we didn’t share with them. And always there was Mrs. Ring and her laugh, whether at their table when I went next door, or just at her door, as I was departing. She often delivered commentary to me with a tough-guy joking manner – “You think you got it rough; let me tell you what I would do if I were your parent …” I never had to wonder what Mrs. Ring’s opinion was on any matter. She was not shy about letting me know. And I would listen to her, since she, like my parents and the others of their generation, had lived through the depression and won World War II. Mrs. Ring was solid as Gibraltar. Her voice and her hands might waver once in a while, but never her smile, nor her sense of rectitude.
Over thousands of casual conversations, almost always humorous, but never flippant, she let me know what she thought was right, thereby contributing to the development of my own sense of justice. She was the last of the people that I knew from her generation. I have no doubt that her longevity was a function of her extremely strong will, which was another of her defining characteristics. I expressly acknowledged that strong will, in one of the last conversations that I had with her. I saw Mrs. Ring in the shopping center across from Jib Lanes, so we stopped to talk. First, she let me know that one of my friends was having a baby – I was always amazed how much more she knew about our neighborhood, than I did. Then, when I saw that she had just bought a pack of cigarettes, I said, “Mrs. Ring I would tell you how bad it is for to keep smoking, but I figure it would just give you something else to joke about, at my funeral.” She chuckled, smiled, got into her car and drove off.
My deepest sympathies to all of the Rings; Maryanne, Kathleen, Ilene, Lenore, Michael and Dennis, you all have lost a truly original spirit. May Marilyn J. Ring rest in peace.
