I'm Next in Line. What do I Say?

By: Louis Bruno
Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Finding the right words of condolence is a challenge, especially at a time with so much happening all at once. Funeral services are a soelmn affair and choosing the right words is important. On one hand, you want to pay proper respects, but on the other you want to keep the family's needs in mind. While you certainly don't want to rush through and trivialize the matter, you should also be mindful that the family is on a timeline. With many other friends and family no doubt behind you you don't want to take up too much of their time and delay the service.

 

Finding the Right Words

We have a number of suggestions when it comes to choosing the right words of condolence at a funeral service and will endeavour to help ensure you are ready when the time comes. The difficult part for most people is finding something meaningful to the bereaved about their loved one while keeping it unique. Cliche statements and generalizations are no good to anyone and will simply make the situation more painful.

 

Keep it Short

Keeping your exchange brief is paramount, as are heatfelt sentiments. Touching on the deceased's character and expressing your admiration for them will go a long way if you speak from the heart. A brief account of one of their prouder moments is also recommended. A personal touch goes a long way with the added benefit of allowing you to keep things concise. Furthermore, you should always finish by giving your condolences.

 

Proper Tone

Keeping the mood light works at times, but a more sombre tone will never steer you wrong if you're ever in doubt. If you don't personally know the bereaved you should remain professional. Whether or not you are a personal friend, attempting to elicit laughter or engaging in humour is not advised. This can easily lead to futher pain and suffering, which is not helpful.

 

Offering Support

Offering to lend assistance is encouraged, given that you do not press the matter and do plan to make youself available. In the middle of trauma, knowing that your thoughts are with the bereaved and that they do have your support is important. That being said, simple words of comfort and the offer of a shoulder if needed will suffice quite well. Additionally, saying things like you know what they're going they're going through, even if true, will not help and may seem cold an uncaring. You words can also, if not carefully chosen, resemble pity if you are not careful. Remember to be humble and you can't go wrong for the most part.

 

When all is said and done, a brief, heartfelt statement that touches on personal experiences and the positive qualities of their loved one will be your best choice if you are at all unsure of how to proceed when your time comes to give condolences. Relax and be open and honest. Sincerity will always be your friend here.

 

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

What's the Point of a Funeral?

While the disposition is often thought of as addressing the needs of the deceased, a funeral or memorial service is typically held to address the needs of the living. The death of someone we love l...

Coping With An Unexpected Death

The unexpected death of a loved one can be a blow to the family as well as close friends. The disbelief that they feel transitions to feelings of remorse, frustration, anger, regret etc. All of the...

The Importance Of Personalizing A Funeral or Memorial Service

Conducting a funeral service gives you the chance to memorialize your loved one in a unique way. This is the time when family and friends can express their feelings and the grief they feel. But whe...

Managing Grief During the Festive Season

Happy families, delicious food and lovely hand-wrapped presents make holidays joyous and wonderful but not necessarily. If you have lost a loved one, it can be an incredibly challenging to pass thi...

4 Things to Think About Before Organizing a Funeral

At some point in life, people may be asked to take on the responsibility of organizing the funeral of a loved one. This is a task they need to accept though very unpleasant and least prepared for. ...

Choosing a Casket

When a loved one passes away, selecting a casket is a priority just like many other funeral arrangements. As you visit funeral homes or search online, you realize that the range of options is wide....

Remembering The Departed At Thanksgiving

The memories of a loved one never leave you. They are revived during the Holidays and Thanksgiving is one such annual important occasion. You feel a strong desire to do something special in the mem...

Helping Yourself Heal From Loss

Losing a loved one is devastating no matter who you are. Going through something so tragic can make you feel empty and lost. The grieving process shows itself in many unique ways for every individu...

What is Green Burial?

Over the years, there has been a lot of change in the manner in which funerals are held. Many people prefer not to have a formal service, and opt for a celebration of life. And this isn’t the only ...

Technology And Your Grief Journey

Technology has taken the world by storm and there is hardly any aspect of our lives that remains untouched by it. Even in death, it has an impact on how people move through their grief and sorrow. ...