Should I Go to the Funeral?

By: Louis Bruno
Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Death and funerals are a time of complicated emotions, for some it is a time filled with grief, for others it starts with confusion, but for most it’s a time with immense sadness regardless of their relationship. One of the major questions when the topic of the funeral arises is whether or not you should attend the funeral. There are a few factors to consider when you are deciding to attend the funeral; whether or not it is family only and also your relationship with the deceased. Within this article we will take a look at these two factors to help you through this decision.


Family Only

In some cases the service may be listed as family only, if you are not family it is important to respect their wishes for the service. If you are not immediate family there are different things that you can do to offer your condolences to the family, a simple phone call may help or you can even organize your own memorial service with their friends that could not attend the service. However, if you have had a special invitation to the service by the immediate family, they view it as important that you should attend the service.


Relationship with the Deceased

In some cases, you may have had a very close relationship with the deceased but had a falling out and don’t know if it would be appropriate to attend the service. The first question to ask yourself is whether your presence will make others uncomfortable. If your falling out was something that others are aware off and will questions your intentions of being at the service, it may not be appropriate for you attend the service. Remember that the service is most importantly a time for the immediate family to grieve and focus on the deceased. Another time this question comes up is for ex-spouses of the deceased. If you ended on amicable terms with them, and still have a close connection with their family, then being at the service would be a great sign of respect.


If you have any further questions on this topic, please contact us at Charles J O’Shea Funeral Home.

Leave a comment
Please enter the letters you see in the image.


Please wait

Previous Posts

Pre-Planning: The Time is Now

It’s rare to find a person that proactively thinks about their death and how their funeral service should be conducted etc. If you are in good health you may feel that the concept of pre-planning a...

Techniques for Handling Challenging Anniversaries after a Death

Anniversaries are important milestones in a person’s life. For example, a marriage anniversary is a special day to celebrate a lifelong commitment. Such events ensure you don’t take life for grante...

Online Grief Support Resources

Dealing with the death of a loved one can be a long, painful, and lonely process. Many people are forced to ignore their own grief and be brave for the more vulnerable members of their family. This...

Should I or Shouldn’t I Go to the Funeral?

When someone you know, passes away, there are times when you are unsure of whether you should attend the funeral or not. This is especially true if you had a complex relationship with the deceased ...

What Do Funeral Directors Do for a Family?

When a family member passes away, there are a number of things that have to be taken care of. You need to inform family and friends about the demise, start organizing and making arrangements for th...

Memorial Service Ideas for Families who Choose Cremation

Many assume that they can’t have a proper visitation or memorial service if they choose cremation instead of a burial. That’s not true as you can plan a visitation, wake, or a memorial service even...

How to Cope with the Holidays Without a Loved One

As the holidays are meant to be celebrated with family and friends, they can serve as a stark reminder of a recent loss of a loved one. These family gatherings and holiday parties can quickly chang...

Understanding the 5 Stages of Grief

Around 30 years ago, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross described something called the “5 Stages of Grief” in her book “On Death and Dying.” Since then, people have started to use this guideline to understand h...

The Importance of an End of Life Conversation with your Loved One

It’s not easy to discuss end-of-life events with a loved one. Most people don’t want to contemplate the thought of a loved one passing away and leaving them behind forever. Most experts believe tha...

5 Funeral Etiquette Tips You Need To Know

Funerals can be tricky to navigate and it can be hard to know how to act, how to give the most comfort to the grieving family or what you are supposed to do! Everyone grieves differently and in the...