Knowing how to help the grieving can be difficult because we all deal with it in different ways and at this upsetting time you don’t want to make things worse! This is understandable

1. Be There – They need you, probably more than usual and this means being on call if they are feeling alone and struggling. Just being there can be a comfort, watching TV with them or bringing them dinner, just look at the simple things they may need and deal with it for them so they don’t have things to do themselves. It can be easy to try and avoid them because you don’t want to make things worse but as they are dealing with the absence of others, this can compound how they are feeling and make them feel even more alone.
    
2. Listen – One of the biggest concerns we hear is not wanting to say something that might upset your friend but there is honestly very few things that you can say that will take their pain away. More powerful help involves listening, whether they are angry and want to vent, cry it out or share memories with you, sitting and listening can be a healthy outlet that will help them a lot.
    
3. Be Normal – Your friend’s world has changed now that they have lost a loved one and providing an element of normalcy for them can be a comfort in itself. Whether it is keeping up with a regular weekly activity, taking them somewhere familiar or even standing in at an event that their loved one would have done with them can help bring their lives back to normal for them. Things may never be the same but normalcy is what grieving people try to search for and hold on to!
    
4. Don’t Try To “Fix It” – Your friend’s loved one is gone and nothing can fix that. Although it comes from a good place, the pain will not be “fixed” you just have to ride it out and some can get more upset if they feel you are trying to erase the memory of their loved one!
    
5. Help Them Honor Their Loved One – There can be plenty of ways to honor a loved one and helping your friend do this can offer some comfort and give them strength to say goodbye and do things that they might not have otherwise. For example, you could suggest a charity drive that you help organise, do a sporting challenge together to fundraise or create a stuffed animal out of old clothes for them.

What you ultimately have to remember is that it isn’t about you and you just have to be present in the situation and be on hand when your needed, that can be the most comfort during this difficult time.

For more information on grieving visit our website or call a member of staff who will be happy to answer your questions.